In September 2023, I bought an SUV, loaded my two fluffy cats, and hired a moving truck to haul everything I owned from San Francisco to San Diego. Nine hours straight, just me and the cats. I pulled into a new city knowing exactly ZERO people – and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
A little background on me
Wee little me spent half my childhood in Metro Detroit. When I was nine years old, we moved to a suburb one hour east of San Francisco. I spent some time in Chicago and Fort Worth for school, and then returned to the Bay Area. Got a job in the suburbs, and then decided I wanted to live the city life and work at a startup, so I found a job in San Francisco and moved to the heart of the city.
Moving is not THAT hard
Okay, yes. Physically moving is hard. Carry something wrong and your back will hurt for a week (true story, because I’m getting old). Emotionally, it’s also a bit tough. But it’s not THAT hard that you should not do it. Good things (aka your future life) don’t always come easily unfortunately.
One thing about me that my friends know is every time I say I’ll do or start something, no matter how outrageous, I’ve probably already started figuring out how to do it or will likely make it happen before you blink. It’s just part of my personality to be a do-er.
Some examples, so you can get an idea of how I operate (tell me I’m not crazy):
I’m going to quit my job and solo travel Southeast Asia for an indefinite amount of time! Boom — within the month I find a sublet for my SF room, bought a one way ticket and a backpack, and left the country for a few months. Ends up climbing limestone cliffs in Thailand.
I want to start biking! Buys a road bike that week and figures it out. Ends up training for a triathlon (later injures right foot two weeks before race and can’t walk on it for a few months…).
I have more stories, but you get the idea. When I say I’m going to do something, I’ve usually already gotten the ball rolling in some form or shape.
Just some unsolicited personal advice — don’t let anything hold you back from moving and starting fresh. People have a fear of starting over. Of course there’s a risk of relocating somewhere new with no community, but you have to trust the process and take that first little step. Nothing will change if you don’t make an effort to move in the direction you want your life to go in. No excuses.
Why I wanted to leave San Francisco
I wasn’t too happy living in San Francisco. I tried very hard to make it home continuously, but it never felt like it and I gave it almost five years of a chance. I really think it is a beautiful city and I’ll always love parts of the city, but at the time in my life I was ready for something new that might be a better fit for my lifestyle. So, instead of complaining, I took action.
The thing that brought me to San Francisco (working at a tech startup), was also part of the reason why I wanted to leave. San Francisco is an amazing place, full of bright people with a lot of career aspirations. Most people I knew had moved to SF because of their job. But at some point it felt like people’s identities were just their work. The most common thing I would hear when you meet someone new is, oh what company do you work at? Asking that question is totally fine, but it gives you an idea of what most people prioritize. There’s nothing wrong with that, but the people and life there was IMO not about enjoying day to day life and experiencing everything life has to offer. It started to feel very homogenous and more of a fit for finding your next startup cofounder.
San Francisco also felt like a city people live in for a few years and then either they move to New York City, or to the suburbs, or they are constantly traveling and not in town. Unless you have a core group of friends that are tied to staying in the city, it felt like you have to make new friends every year because of the sheer number of people coming and going.
And then there was the stuff I kept brushing off but couldn’t ignore forever. I didn’t like the feeling of being unsure of my safety at times. My car was hit-and-run while parked on the street. Another time, my car was broken into when there was not a single item in sight inside. One time, while riding public transit, a man wielding a large knife sent me and everyone else in the train car running. Another time while out at night with friends, my phone, keys, and wallet were stolen. I was tired of not feeling safe. Maybe I was unlucky, but can you blame a girl for wanting to feel safe?
I still have a love for the city, but I felt like it wasn’t a practical fit for my lifestyle and what I valued. I dreamed of warmer weather that would enable all the outdoor activities I love.
Visiting San Diego back in 2022
In January 2022, my friend and I decided to take a trip to San Diego for the first time. I had been to LA and OC a number of times, but was curious about how life was a little further down south. This trip would double as a mini vacation and a way to see if it could potentially be a place to call home in the future.
To my surprise, I didn’t have strong feelings towards San Diego at all! Early 2022, cities were still recovering from the pandemic times. It was a gloomy January weekend to visit – we stayed at an airbnb in Hillcrest. It felt a bit quiet compared to what I was used to in a bigger city, and the lack of sun that weekend wasn’t helping either. We had a fun time, but as tourists, we didn’t get a good picture of how it would feel to live there. So that was that. We could call the first impression of San Diego “not bad”.
How I decided to move to San Diego
Fast forward another year – I was in a relationship at the time, which kept me from seriously entertaining the idea of leaving SF. Then that relationship ended, and suddenly I felt wide open for whatever came next. I was 28, I’d had my big city years, and I was ready for something different.
My first instinct was to go big…like, move to another country big. I’d always dreamed of living abroad and learning another language, so I looked into Mexico City. I even visited twice. But after the second trip I knew it wasn’t right for me – I need to be near the ocean, and my remote job at the time had location restrictions that ruled out living outside the country entirely. So I had to think closer to home.
That’s when San Diego came back onto my radar. I know my first visit hadn’t blown me away, but I also knew I hadn’t really seen it properly. I sat with it for a bit and kept coming back to the same thought: San Diego checks every box for the lifestyle I actually want. Good weather, ocean access, outdoors culture. At some point you just have to bet on yourself and go. So, I gave notice on my SF apartment, booked a few nights at an Airbnb in North Park, and told myself I had two weeks to find a place to live. I hadn’t even gone down to scope it out before committing to the move. I just decided to go and figure it out when I got there. I was very ready to leave.
Figuring out where to live in San Diego
I wanted to live by the beach, but I’d heard mixed reviews about Pacific Beach being mostly a college and early 20s party scene. I was past that phase and wanted somewhere that felt more like a fit for late 20s / early 30s professionals. After doing some research and talking to people who had lived in San Diego before, North Park kept coming up as the recommendation. It seemed like a solid choice, but when I actually got there I couldn’t find the right place and something felt off. I later realized I just needed to be closer to the ocean or the bay, but I didn’t fully know that yet.
First stop: Mission Valley
Since I only had a few days at an Airbnb to lock something down, I ended up choosing an apartment complex in Mission Valley. It was right next to North Park, super convenient to every freeway, about 15 minutes from the beach, and most importantly… next to a Costco. It worked for what I needed at the time.
Mission Valley did its job for year one. It was easy, it was practical, and coming from SF where I hadn’t owned a car in years, having a Costco and Target within five minutes felt like a luxury honestly. But eventually I had to admit to myself that Mission Valley is really just a lot of apartments and big box stores. Nothing wrong with that, but I wanted to wake up to an ocean breeze, walk to a coffee shop, and actually feel like I was in a beach city. It was time to move closer to the water.
Getting closer to the water: Crown Point
After year one in Mission Valley I moved to Crown Point, which I absolutely loved. Crown Point kind of surprised me honestly. Pacific Beach has this reputation for being a party neighborhood full of college kids, and that put me off from even considering it at first. But Crown Point sits on the south end of PB on the bay side, and it has a completely different feel. Quieter streets, families, people walking their dogs along the water, a real neighborhood vibe. It reminded me that you really can’t take a neighborhood’s reputation at face value. You have to go see it yourself.
That’s actually advice I’d give anyone moving to a new city. Don’t just Google it or take someone else’s word for it. Go walk around. Grab a coffee at a local spot, try a fitness class, sit in a park. Pay attention to the people around you and ask yourself if that’s the kind of environment you want to come home to every day. The vibe of a neighborhood is something you feel in person, not something you can read about.
Where I am now: Ocean Beach
After living in Crown Point for a year and some, my partner and I eventually moved in together in Ocean Beach, which is where I am now and I love it. OB has this laid back, slightly funky, beachy character that is hard to find anywhere else in San Diego. It’s walkable, there’s a cute main strip with local restaurants, bars, and shops on Newport Avenue, and the beach itself is beautiful and a little less crowded than some of the more popular spots. It has a real community feel to it!
The Sunset Cliffs bonus
One of my favorite things about living here is that Sunset Cliffs is literally a run away. If you haven’t been, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Dramatic cliffs overlooking the ocean, some of the most breathtaking sunsets you’ll ever see, and beautiful homes lined along the water. I end up there more than I can count and it never gets old. It’s one of those spots that reminds you why you moved here in the first place.
The honest cons
That said, OB is not without its quirks. Getting in and out on a weekend during beach season can be a bit of a pain. It’s a bit of a peninsula so there are limited ways in and out, and when the sun is out everyone wants to be there. Parking is its own sport. But honestly for the tradeoff of living that close to the water, it’s worth it to me.
On my radar for the future: Point Loma
If I’m being honest, nearby neighborhood of Point Loma is also on our radar for the future. It’s right next door and has a slightly more residential feel to it. Gorgeous views, beautiful homes, a little more quiet and established compared to OB’s beachy casual energy, but still close enough to the water and the things I love. It feels like a natural next chapter kind of neighborhood, the kind of place you grow into.
How I knew San Diego was the home I was looking for
Honestly my expectations going in weren’t sky high. My mindset was just “let me try this and hope it sticks.” But I found way more than I was looking for. In the first week I already had a feeling I could see myself here long term. I threw myself into it those first six months, meeting people, trying new things, and exploring as much as I could, and it just kept confirming what I felt early on.
The people make the difference
The thing that stood out to me most was that people here actually love living here. They didn’t end up in San Diego because a job relocated them. They chose it and they stay because they genuinely love the lifestyle, the weather, the outdoors, and the community. When you’re surrounded by people who are invested in where they live, the energy is just different. It felt right in a way SF never quite did for me.
Everything is actually accessible
The geography helps too. If you live anywhere in central San Diego, most of your friends are probably within a 20 minute drive. Even if you can’t afford to live right on the coast, you’re likely still just 20 minutes from the beach. The traffic exists but it’s nothing close to LA. Most of the beaches in OC and LA charge for parking, but most of San Diego beaches are free to park. And compared to SF where it could be difficult to get around if you don’t have a car with a safe parking spot, getting around here feels easy and low friction.
Cost of Living
While we’re on the practical side of things – let’s talk money.Yes, San Diego is expensive…but so is everywhere worth living in California. The honest comparison if you’re coming from SF: overall costs are slightly lower here, and your dollar goes further than you’d expect. Purchasing property in San Francisco is still more expensive than San Diego, but the last few years the gap has gotten smaller. When I moved down to San Diego as a renter, I was actually paying slightly more in rent, but I did have a nicer place with sweet amenities, so I would say the cost was very similar. I will say that back then, my remote job paid everyone the same regardless of location, but the next job I took did adjust for “cost of labor” unfortunately!
Social Life in San Diego
I moved here knowing no one, so I’ve lived this. The outdoor culture makes it genuinely easy to meet people – run clubs, beach volleyball, pickleball, sports leagues. Get into something you’d do anyway and the friendships follow naturally.
For women, Bumble BFF is low-key one of the best kept secrets for making friends here. Sounds weird until you try it! I’ve seen it turn into real, lasting friendships for a lot of people. For guys, I have less intel, but the hobby angle seems to be the universal answer.
The harder part is building your actual core group – that takes time and consistent effort in any city. I’ll be real: I’ve had friends leave San Diego because of the cost, and social circles do naturally shift around year one or two. You just have to keep showing up.
But beyond the logistics of making friends and finding your people – there’s a feeling you get when a city actually fits. And I didn’t expect how clearly I’d feel it.
The moment I knew it was really home
One thing I didn’t expect was how much I’d appreciate coming home after traveling. In my SF days, my friend and I would get back from a trip and immediately start planning the next escape. Travel felt like relief from real life. Now I still love traveling just as much, but when I land back in San Diego I actually feel relieved to be home. That shift meant a lot to me. And it doesn’t hurt that pretty much every person I meet abroad lights up when I tell them where I’m from.
The bottom line
These are just my personal opinions and every city fits someone differently. But for what I value in life, San Diego comes about as close to perfect as I’ve found. What I didn’t expect was that falling in love with this city would eventually lead me to build my career here too – but that’s a whole other story you can read here.
If any of this resonated and you’re thinking about making a move to San Diego, I’d genuinely love to help you find your version of it. Come say hi on Instagram ( @karenxding) or just reach out directly! My DMs are always open.
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